


The Enjoyment of Pregnancy

by DrGairyuki



Series: Battle Story of Mechanical Biological Beast-Machine Zoids [3]
Category: Zoids (Anime & Toys)
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, F/M, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gallows Humor, Hospitals, Humor, Humorous Ending, Hybrids, Inappropriate Humor, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrGairyuki/pseuds/DrGairyuki
Summary: The V/F and R/R couple are now settle into a happy, stable, and married life. Onto the problem is that both Van and Raven have to endured the final 2-months of their wives' trimester, along with the package of their wives' pregnancy of their twins.





	The Enjoyment of Pregnancy

Van Flyheight, or Van Freiheit, has faced many obstacles and oppenents in his life, some of the worst are; a Genosaur, a cloned Deathsaurus, a red hair rasict Zoidian, another Genosaur, a Genobreaker, a Death Stringer, and the Utlimate Deathsaurus. So what was worst thing that he can't face?

"GO! GO AND JUST LEAVE ME!"

It turned out to be his 7-months pregnant Ancient Zoidian wife, Elisi Linette, or Fiona if you will, which means "Fine" in the Ancient Zoidian language. To be fair, Van was a lucky guy, he got a job as a Guardian Force member, which he got off for the 9 months due to Fiona being pregnant so he wouldn't leave her alone, and he was married to girl of his dream plus the fact that he was thankful that Fiona was carrying their children, which were twins. Unfortunately, this came with your typical mood swings, which he was thankful that Zeke and Blade Liger are smart enough to decide to stay away from the house at least about a mile. While Van was strong and assertive, but when it come to the pregnant, mood swinging, and hormonal Zoid that is his wife Fiona is enough to break him down into a shivering and stuttering mess.

"R-right! G-going grocery shopping. G-got it." Van faltered, giving the best friendliest smile that he can muster to his Zoidian wife as he nerviously laugh at this, praying to whatever Zoid Eve is doing. Then suddenly, he was grabbed by collar by his mood swinging wife and pulled down to Fiona's eye level, glaring at him like the Deathsaurus wanting revenge as she glare through into his already terrified eyes, as he knew what is happening. ' _OH GOOD LORD! HER MOOD SWINGS AGAIN! I DON'T WANT TO DIED BY OWN MY WIFE!_ ' Van thought as he knew he has to settle it to his terrifying wife, fast! "F-Fiona! P-Please! It's only-"

Fiona cut him off. "SHUT IT!" She snarled like a mad Gojulas going on a rampage though a city as she tighen her hold on Van's collar, almost strangling him. "If you say ' _2 more months_ ' one more time, I SWEAR TO ZOID EVE THAT I WILL THROW YOU THROUGH THE ROOF, SLAM YOU INTO THE WALL, BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU, DROP YOU INTO THE DESERT, TRAMPLE YOU WITH THOMAS' DIBISON, SHOOT YOU WITH ITS MEGALO MAX ATTACK, TRAMPLE YOU SOME MORE FOR GOOD MEASURE, THEN THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF, BEFORE FINALLY OBLITERATING YOU INTO OBLIVION!"

Van was not terrified by this. No... he was _beyond_ terrified by this, transcended it into the realm of an higher plane of existance if does exist, by Fiona's own horrifying mood swing that can make Shin Godzilla give a smile of impressiveness to her. Van knew only one thing that can disfuse this.

"P-papaya juice?" Van stuttered in fear.

"NOW!"

Van hopes that Raven was having a better time with his also 7-months pregnant wife Reese.

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... where Raven and Reese are living at..._

However, it turn that Raven is not having much better luck than Van is.

"WHERE YOU'RE GOING, RAVEN!"

"G-going s-shopping." Raven said as he shook in fear as he hold the shopping bag. Now Reese was also carrying their own twin too, although he is also thankful for Shadow and Specular moving his Genobreaker far from a mood swinging Reese. While like Van, he was strong and assertive, but just like Van, he will break down into an shivering mess when it come to his mood-swinging wife before he grabbed by the collar of his clothing and was pulled down by his pregnant wife to her eye level, glaring like the wrathful devil of humanity's old religion as she glare into Raven's also terrified eyes as he also knew what is happening. ' _OH NO! I DON'T WANT TO DIED! I JUST REDEEM MYSELF JUST A YEAR AGO FOR GOD'S SAKE!_ ' He knew he need to settle this fast. "R-Reese! I-it's just-"

"SHUT YOUR TRAPS!" Reese snarled like enrage Iron Kong as she cut him off and tighten her hold on Raven's collar, which almost killed him. "If you're going to ' _2 more months_ '. SWEAR TO WHEREEVER ZOID EVE IS RIGHT NOW THAT I WILL SMASH YOU THROUGH THE WALL, BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU, THROW YOU UP THE CEILING AND INTO THE DESERT ITSELF, MAKE YOU WITH THOMAS' OLD RED HORN'S 80MM SURFACE-TO-AIR DOUBLE-BARRELED BEAM CANNON, TRAMPLE YOU, SHOOT YOU AGAIN WITH ITS ANTI-ZOID 3-BARRELED LINEAR CANNON FOR GOOD MEASURE, THEN THROW YOU UP INTO THE AIR WITH CRASHER HORN, AND SHOT YOU DOWN WITH EVERY WEAPON IT GOT!"

Raven was now just as _beyond_ terrified as Van was and knew only one thing that can disfuse this. "M-milk a-and c-cookies?"

"IMMEDIATELY!"

* * *

 

_Later... at a park in Old Helic City..._

Both Van and Raven were at a park, sitting on an wooden bench side-by-side with each other, with their knees curled, as they were literally shaking in just pure fear. Both Fiona and Reese have done the impossible: They both have break down Van and Raven like it was nothing, something that Gunther Prozen and Hiltz have both failed to even achieved. They've never been this terrified in their lives! For God's sake! They're going to have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) after this! And they're too young too get PTSD for crying out loud! This whole thing is making them what their mothers was like carrying her. Oh man! They feels sorry for whoever their fathers were if they were like this. Both Zeke and Shadow stand by Van and Raven while both Blade Liger and Genobreaker were both standing in the background behind them, nuzzling them to calm down their nerves. They're nearing the end of the 3rd trimester and soon, so those twins will out of Fiona and Reese's wombs and, hopefully, things will calm down.

They have thank to whatever god they were that Fiona and Reese were asleep when they left after having their meals. Thankfully, they weren't yelled or growled at as Specular was just so nice enough to hold the line for them just to give them a break at least. GOD! Even Zeke and Shadow, along with the Blade Liger and the Genobreaker and even the other Zoids, had the intelligence to stay away from them when their mood swifts. They didn't even comprehand the door opening and closing! They were just. Too. Damn. TRAUMATISED! They momentarily recalled contracting some of their friends to come down to the park, saying that it was a very serious emergency for them. It doesn't take long for both Irvine, Moonbay, and Thomas to arrive in their Zoids, in which Rob Herman and Karl L. Schubaltz also tag along to see what's the matter and why is it so serious. They saw Van and Raven curled on the bench they were sharing, completely out of it! It's like they've seen something more terrifying than even the Ultimate Deathsaurus itself. Irvine just scratch the back of his head at this before Rob spoke to Van and Raven.

"Do you two think you're just overreacting?" Rob asked the 2 Zoid pilots, unsure if his words even reached Van and Raven's ears.

"I mean, it's Fiona and Reese. They can't be that bad." Moonbay said. However, that is when both Van and Raven turned to face their friends, with crazed eyes in their looks... and their eyes gone wide as the sun when they saw bags under their eyes.

"That is NOT my Fiona/Reese!" Both Van and Raven screech in a high voice at the same time. "You don't know what behind those walls! You don't know what we've been through! And what we've done!" There was a belief moment of silence in the clean air of the park as the 5 humans just didn't know how to react to this. "Don't judge us for that!"

' _God...! Did you two kill someone?_ ' Irvine just wonder in confusion at this as he didn't know of what is going or why they are reacting this way. Karl then broke the silence between them.

"Do we really want to know?" The Brigadier General of the Guylos army asked. All of them, Zoids and Organoids included, mentally counted down as both Van and Raven prepare their insane rant together.

"OK! Fiona/Reese were just fine up until last month!" Both of them started off. "Their mood swings give us whiplash! They're super aggressive! And God forbid us that we don't them give them any tea!"

"That... doesn't sound so bad." Thomas gently comment. But oh boy, they weren't done just yet.

"BUT that's not the WORST of it! Let's just say: They so aggressive that not even two entire company of Gojulas and Iron Kongs would come near them when they get the mood-swings!"

"Ohhh...." Everyone calmly said... before they realized what they REALLY meant by. "OHHH!" If they were saying that Fiona and Reese were that aggressive, they can see why both Van and Raven have lost a considerable amount of sanity.

"IT GET WORSE TOO!" Van and Raven moved from their current position, so they can faced their friends face-to-face and they can see how traumatized both Van and Raven were and how much sanity they have lost! "Our legs are on fire! We weren't build that way!"

"Van, Raven..." Irvine, Moonbay, and Thomas, along with Karl and Rob, knew that their sanity were on the verge of being completely gone by the end of the pregnancy.

"There's no sleep! Only friction!" Both of them raised their fingers to Karl and Rob's faces, which they both admit that is not a good sight of mental stability.

"I think you 2 might need to calm down."

Van and Raven knew that they needed a few moments to themselves... before their darling, albert agressive wives come looking for them. "Don't let them find us! We need you to-"

Irvine then cut them off. "You could stop pointing your fingers." Irvine deadpan, which they did.

However, that was when an giant explosion appear all of a suddenly behind Van and Raven sky high before they turn around and look in both in fear.

"THEY'RE HERE!!!!" Van and Raven shouted in pure terror and horror as both their Organoids partners and their Zoid look absolutely terrified by this.

"Who?!" Thomas asked, before he realized what kind of dumb question that was.

Both Van and Raven cling to each other tightly and shook literially in fear before the newest model of the Iron Kong MK II and Gojulas MK II (which is their OJR's colors) loomed over them as Specular was hovering in the air in between, looking horrified. Which they immediately knew before both large Zoids lower themselves and open their cockpits, which Fiona got out of the Iron Kong and Reese got out of the Gojulas. They could tell that both large Zoids were forced to do it as Fiona and Reese glared intensely at both Van and Raven while they shook in horror.

"Hey, Fiona and Reese!" Irvine laughed nerviously as he knew what is going. "How are-"

"STUFF IT, IRVINE!" Fiona and Reese screeched at all of them and it was not in their sweet and friendly voice. To be fair, they actually found their knees beginning to buckle in sheer horror and terror at this as what was in front of them, was NOT the 2 Zoidian they knew... this was something else and it could sent a Ultrasaurus running fast as it could.

' _Yup, this is not our Fiona and Reese._ ' They all thought in a scared manner. Fiona and Reese glared at the terrified forms of Van and Raven cower before them like they were about to kill them before Moonbay, being the big sister figure that she was, intervene.

"Okay, you two! I think you should give Van and Raven a break." Moonbay said nerviously, as Irvine, Thomas, Karl, and Rob, along with Zeke, Shadow, the Gojulas MK II and Iron Kong MK II, hid behind Van's Blade Liger and Raven's Genobreaker in case if Armageddon happen.

"Why?" Fiona and Reese ask in a tone of a wrathful god-like voice.

"Because, well, don't your babies to have their father lose their sanity before they are born." Moonbay said before she nerviously laughs as Specular nodded in agreement, both of them hoping that they're not going to died from this... until the aura of terror around Fiona and Reese disperse as they a cute-looking pout.

"Fine..."

"You see...? It's not that bad." Moonbay said as she and Specular took Fiona and Reese out for a walk.

"Whew, crisis avoided." Rob said in relief at this.

"I have to say..." Karl comment.

"At least nothing bad have happen, right Van and Raven?" Irvine asked... before everyone, Zoids and Organoids included, notice they were not responsing to his question and turned to look at them. "Guys?" Van and Raven were still shaking in fear before they collapses on the ground in a horrified daze, causing the other to sweatdrop at this. "Sheesh, it's that bad?"

"Considering what happen today... I think they're going to need a therapist." Karl causally comment, which the other can't help but agreed.

* * *

 

_A few months later... at a hospital..._

After hours in labor, both Fiona and Reese give birth to Van and Raven's twin childrens. For Van and Fiona: Their twin were two boys that like very much like their father except for a streak of blonde on the right side of one of them's hairs and another one on the left side of the other twin before they decide to name them Bang and Van Jr. For Raven and Reese: Their twin were one boy and one girl as they look like their father except for having a bluer color to their hairs before they decide to name them Nichelo and Dan.

"Nichelo and Dan are beautiful, Reese." Fiona complement Reese from her hospital bed, as she was holding Van Jr and Bang in her arms, who were sleeping peacefully.

"So are Van Jr. and Bang." Reese said from her own hospital bed, which was on the right side of Fiona's, holding Nichelo and Dan in her arms as they were asleep as well.

"Thanks god, it's..." Van said as he lay his head against the edge of his wife's bed as he just comical cried at this.

"It's finally over..." Raven muttered as he agree with Van while he lay his head on the edge of his wife's bed as he just comical cried at this too.

"Well... the scary part had only begun." Fiona said as she sweatdrop at this.

"Parenthood..." Reese said, in a VERY causal tone of voice, as she sweatdrop too.

Both Van and Raven immediately lift their heads up from their wives' beds at the same time, which only took them for a few second for their brain to process it quickly before their eyes then gone wide as the end of the world.

* * *

 

_Meanwhile... in the lobby area of the hospital..._

Irvine, Moonbay, Zeke, Shadow, Specular, and Thomas were waiting in the lobby room; with Irvine and Moonbay sitting, Zeke and Shadow sitting on the floor, while Specular and Thomas were just standing. Moonbay was humming to herself happily and excited about this day. "I just can't wait to see them~!" The 3 Organoids growled in agreement with her.

"Good for you." Irvine deadpan as he read a newspaper and drank his cup of coffee.

Meanwhile, on the Blue Moon of Se, three Krarks were waking up from their hibernations and were emerging from their icy prison of the surface.

A pair of screams echoed thoughout the hospital, causing the six to squintly shut their eyes, as the sounds of Van and Raven's screams could be heard from the West Continet of Europa, to the Central Contient of Delpoi, to the East Continent of Ayerai, to the northern Dark Contient of Nyx echoing as it penetrated the very atmosphere of Zi. Somewhere on Se, their screams echoed across the icy canyons, taking the 3 Krarks that would have emerge by surprised and scaring them before they went back to their crater as they decide that probably a couple 100 more years of sleep would do.

The 6 just closed their eyes and sighed as they sweatdrop at this. "Look like their sanity have finally snapped into two pieces..." Irvine muttered in a tone of resignation in his voice at this.

"No kidding..." The other deadpans as they knew that is going to be a _long_ time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: It's based of a hilarious, I mean, its do damn funny, a RWBY fanfiction written by Masterfanfic2013 called "The Joys Of Pregnancy" and I thought "Man, this is so damn funny! But I wonder what if I put Van and Raven into those predictment." So as a result, this story was created. I thought about a funny scene from Thomas Abridged by ToonGuy, which I love so much because it just so damn funny, in Chapter 69: Buzz Buzz when James was strung by a bee and scream up to Mars! I thought this was seriously hilarious, and since it would make a fine reference to the UK comic of Zoids, I've put it in. Isn't it irony that I've posted days after Valentines days? I know...


End file.
